Golden Art of Letting Students Fail

The Golden Art of Letting Students Fail (and Learning to Love It)

Socrates once said, “The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.” And if you’ve spent any time in a classroom, you know every child is pretending to be one of two things: 1) a flawless genius, or 2) completely uninterested in literally everything. Spoiler alert: they’re neither.

Now let me hit you with a nugget of wisdom from an African tribe that’s been absolutely schooling us (pun intended) in how to handle mistakes. When someone messes up, the entire tribe gathers—not to roast them, but to sing their praises. For TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. They basically form a live-action “This Is Your Life” episode, recounting every wonderful thing the person has ever done, reminding them that their screw-up doesn’t define them. And then, magic happens: the wrongdoer remembers their worth.

Picture this in a classroom. Little Yahya just drew on the walls again. What if, instead of giving him detention or threatening to call his mom, the class gathered around and reminded him of his brilliant volcano project last semester or how he once shared his crayons with Sakina? Sounds crazy, right? But maybe Yahya needs to hear that he’s more than his mistakes.

Why This Matters (and Why We Suck at It)

Let’s be honest—our current model of teaching is rooted in “No mistakes allowed.” Perfectionism, meet your match: education. But here’s the kicker—mistakes are how people learn. Yet, instead of treating mistakes like stepping stones, we treat them like landmines, ready to blow up a kid’s confidence.

Instead of teaching students that it’s okay to fail, we subtly (or not-so-subtly) tell them failure equals inadequacy. Guess what happens next? They stop trying. And when they stop trying, we’re left wondering why they aren’t “reaching their potential.” The irony burns, doesn’t it?

The Tribal Solution for Classrooms

Let’s take a leaf—or heck, the whole tree—out of that African tribe’s playbook. What if we normalized mistakes and made classrooms safe spaces for kids to mess up, grow, and try again?

Here’s how you could actually pull this off without turning your classroom into a chaos factory:

1. Celebrate Mistakes: Create a “Best Mistake of the Week” award. Highlight what was learned, not what went wrong.
2. Group Gratitude Sessions: Got a student having a tough day? Encourage peers to share something positive about them. Bonus points if it’s funny (“Ali always knows when it’s pizza day before anyone else.”).
3. Mistake Diaries: Have kids write down their biggest mistake each week and what they learned from it. At the end of the term, look back and laugh at how much everyone has grown.
4. Reframe Feedback: Instead of, “Why didn’t you study harder?” try, “What did this teach you, and how can we ace it next time?”

Why This Works

Kids (and let’s be real, adults) aren’t defined by their worst days. But if we keep focusing on failures, they will be. Shifting the focus to their strengths reminds them—and us—that their worth isn’t tied to a single mistake or even a series of them.

Now, imagine if every teacher adopted this mindset. Instead of classrooms where mistakes are feared, they’d be celebrated. Students would stop pretending to be perfect (or disengaged) and actually embrace learning as the glorious, messy process it’s supposed to be.

So next time your students—or your own kids—mess up, channel your inner Socrates and pretend to be that patient, loving teacher who sees the bigger picture. Eventually, you won’t even have to pretend.

And hey, if all else fails, there’s always the “two days of compliments” strategy. Maybe just… start with two minutes?