Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter Parents
The term “helicopter parents” has gained popularity these days.
These parents are always hovering over their children, hence the reference to helicopters.
Parents are more involved in our children’s lives than ever: we schedule play dates, assist with homework and even choose college courses.
However this kind of parenting, termed ‘helicopter parenting‘ is harmful and counter-productive.
The college student might think: If Mom and Dad are always around to solve my problems, why spend three straight nights in the library during finals rather than hanging out with my friends?
Rather than allowing their children to make the mistakes which are necessary for them to become independent, these parents are in constant contact with their children and make most of the big decisions for them.
Being involved in the lives of your children is good.
It is healthy, normal, and desirable.
But being overly involved is not good.
So how do you tell if you’re a helicopter parent? Ask yourself these questions:
Do you decide what gifts or games your child buys?
Are you planning to write your child’s application forms or school essays?
Do you decide what your child wants to be when he or she grows up?
You decide which tuitions or classes she joins?
Imagine you daughter sees that throughout her school, college life – you made all the decisions for her. From her school to her toys to her clothes. No wonder she think, Mummy will decide the bride groom for me too and runs away!
Over-possessiveness will HURT:
Suspicion, being in control all the time, mistrust and rigidness are sure ways to ruin a good relationship, be it between parent and child or the relationship between a husband and a wife
A good relationship is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.
Over-parenting hurts … ouch:
The same maxim goes to parents. Let children be. Let them play and fall down. There are times when all you can be is their coach and not be the player in their life. That player is they themselves.
Children with controlling parents are more likely to be depressed or anxious, a study suggests.
The findings also suggested that children of over controlling parents feel less competent and less able to manage life and its stressors while some parents wrongly consider ‘helicopter parenting’ to be supportive, rather than detrimental.
Over-parenting is motivated with the idea of doing good things, but it does the exact opposite in the long run.
In the long run, parents are impairing their child’s coping skills. They’re winning the battle, but actually losing the war.